Borrowed Baggage

Many seemingly successful entrepreneurs grapple with a nagging sense of emptiness. Why is that? A journey from adaptation to authenticity can shed some light.

This week I had long conversations with two entrepreneurs with - at its core - the same question.

I want to share it here, as it seems to be a recurring theme, specifically, with those who have “made it” - the ones leading businesses generating millions or even having sold their company. 

On paper, they have it all: financial security, a picture-perfect family, and the freedom to pursue their passions. 

Yet, when I ask them how they truly are, a subtle flicker appears in their eyes – a hint of dissatisfaction, a glimmer of frustration, a yearning for something… for “more”. 

Digging deeper, many describe a nagging emptiness, often accompanied by a sense of guilt. They "shouldn't" feel this way. They've made it, after all. But the feeling lingers. 

Why?

The Path Of Life

Imagine life as a journey - a hike through mountainous terrain.

When you are born, you start with an empty backpack, wide-eyed and curious, just trying to figure out which way to go.

Everyone seems to know the path. So, eager to survive and thrive, you adapt to those around you. 

Parents, teachers, friends, society – they all want the best for you and your journey. So, you pick up their tips, lessons, hopes, beliefs, dreams, goals, and tuck them away in your bag.

"Get good grades," they say. "Go to college," they say. "Get a good job, buy a house, raise a family," they say. All this stuff gets crammed in, promising a journey of happiness and fulfillment, if you just follow the path.

So you climb, diligently adding more weight. Good grades, check. College degree, check. Start a company, check. Get funding, check. Nice house, check. Marriage, kids, check.

You followed the playbook.

Yet, somewhere between the mortgage payments, the daily commute, and a board meeting, a nagging feeling creeps in. Where's the promised happiness? Where is the fulfillment? Why does it still feel like you're carrying the weight of the world (literally, in this case)?

Then, like a punch to the gut, reality hits: you're not immortal. Time - your most valuable asset - is ticking away. This jolts you awake.

Is this it? Is this all there is? Will you feel like this until you die?

That's the moment you realize most of the stuff in your backpack isn't yours. It's borrowed baggage – other people's dreams, other people's fears, other people's definitions of "good life."

You've been living by the "shoulds" instead of the "wants," walking someone else's path. You've missed your turns!

Deep inside you know it. But you have come all this way. What now?

Finding Your Path

Life is a journey from adapting to what is around us – the only possible strategy as a kid – to authentically following our own path as we mature. 

A moment of despair arises when we realize we've been living someone else's life. But it's never too late to break free and find our own way. 

What does that look like?

The answer lies in a radical declutter. It's time to unpack that bag you've been lugging around. Dump out the expectations, the should-haves, the could-haves. All those dreams, hopes, fears, beliefs. Empty the entire bag. Be ruthless.

Now reexamine everything. Take only what resonates with you, that what's truly "yours."

The long-suppressed artist within, the travel bug buzzing in your ear, the quiet yearning for a simpler life, a calling to create something meaningful.

This isn't about throwing everything away and starting from scratch. Some of those expectations might actually be yours, a perfect fit for the life you want to build. The key is to choose, consciously and actively, rather than blindly accepting what you've been handed.

What's left after the decluttering? 

That's the essence of you, the authentic self that's been buried under the weight of borrowed dreams. Repacking your bag with these authentic desires marks the shift from adaptation to authenticity. 

That doesn't guarantee a smooth journey. But here's the difference: now, you're carrying your own backpack.

A Quiet Revolution

Everyone who hasn't made the shift from following someone else's path to their own will face that moment of truth at some point. It's a possibility for self-discovery. Like every possibility, it is what you make of it. And this one isn’t easy. 

It takes guts to question the status quo and peel back the layers of who you think you're supposed to be. There will be setbacks, resistance from those who benefit from the "old" you, and moments of doubt. It's a step into the unknown. That's uncomfortable. But that's also the place where growth happens.

With each step toward self-understanding, you'll feel lighter, more aligned, more in control, more “you”. You'll be walking your own path, not someone else's, one authentic step at a time. 

As such, it is an act of rebellion – a quiet revolution not against something or someone, but for yourself.

This quiet revolution, however, is not a destination, but a lifelong journey.

Your journey. Finally!

🙏

Be kind,

Manuel

PS: If you are at a similar crossroads, you can check out my Life Compass Exercise (it’s free). It’s a great tool to give clarity and direction.